(All the
pictures on this page expand when you click on them.)
If you're
sexually experienced, then you probably already know how man on top sex
works.
But what you may not know is that this
represents one of the easiest ways to give a woman an orgasm and satisfy
her emotionally into the bargain. Truth is, with man on top sex, actually
it is easy to pleasure a woman in bed.
The reason? Because everyone
loves man on top sex - it's intimate, there's lots of body contact, the man
can thrust deeply, and the woman often feels safe and fulfilled.
But for the
benefit of those who aren't familiar with how it works, the man positions himself over the woman with
his weight more or less supported on his arms, knees and legs, while she
lies on her back with her partner's legs inside or outside hers.
There are many
techniques to use in this basic position, all of which give a different
experience to the man and the woman - for example, if she has her legs
outside his, her vagina won't be as tight as it would be if she had her
legs inside his.
You can see how
man on top sex works in the pictures below. (All the
pictures enlarge when you click on them.)
A lot of people think that in
this sexual position the woman's movements are restricted by the weight of
her partner, but that's not entirely true - a woman does have the freedom
to thrust or rock her pelvis to some extent.
In fact, she can add greatly
to the enjoyment of sex for both partners if she moves her hips to meet
his thrusting with some energy of her own. The freedom
to enjoy sex (in any position) depends in large part on the extent to
which the man is in his male archetypal energy, and the woman is in her
archetypal energy. What this means in practical terms is that each of them
fully embodies a state of being where they are fully present with what is
happening, with themselves, and with their partner. This means embracing
one's
archetypal energy fully and thereby stepping into the whole of one's
being.
It's not
necessarily about preconceptions of what represents masculinity and
femininity during the act of sex. The roles of men and women can fluctuate
between moments within one sexual experience and between sexual
experiences. For example, a woman might fully embrace her lover archetype
at times while her man embraces his masculine warrior
archetype.
At other times, a man might find that the power of orgasm moves him into
his lover archetype and a woman might take control of the sexual act by
moving into her warrior
archetype.
What is generally called spiritual sex is properly emerging of the
sovereign archetypes of both the man and woman who are engaging in sexual
intercourse.
This is not
about trying to prescribe set roles for the blue partners making love.
What I have discovered over the years is that the greater the polarity of
masculinity and femininity – even within same-sex couples – the more
heightened the sexual experience. This implies that if a couple are
occupying the same archetypal energy – to whit, for example, two women
making love in their lover
archetypes, or two men making love in their warrior archetypes, the
overall power of the experience will be diminished for one of the
partners, at least when compared to lovemaking where both partners are in
a polarity of masculinity and femininity.
The question
has often been raised as to how the archetypal energies relate to the
polarity of masculinity and femininity. If we regarded masculinity as
something more direct, going out into the world and (perhaps obviously)
"penetrating" then this would be warrior energy in a male form. If we
regarded active welcoming of the man into the woman's body and the woman
responding with energy and force, this would probably be a representation
of masculine energy in the woman's warrior archetype.
It's
interesting to reflect on myth and legend through the centuries about how
these archetypes might have played out in real life. For example, the
legends of women welcoming home men who have been to war and bathing and
soothing their wounds probably represents feminine energy and lover
archetype. And defending the home whilst men are away at war probably
represents warrior energy in a woman.
What of the
man who relinquishes control during sex and lovemaking and hands over the
lead energy to the woman? He is probably entering more into his lover
energy, being softer and embodying more feminine energy. At the same time
she is most likely entering more into her warrior energy to direct and
control the experience of lovemaking.
These are
fascinating concepts but rather than expand on them here, if you want to
know more about them, you can read much more about
archetypal energies in this book.
Continued below...
Variations on the basic man on
top sex position
(Including
the Coital Alignment Technique)
For
the pleasure of female orgasm during intercourse, you could try having sex with the
alignment technique or CAT. This is not so
much a sex position as a sexual technique
which gives you and your partner better sex, and ensures that women are much more likely to enjoy an orgasm during intercourse.
We all know that a
woman's clitoris may not get a lot of stimulation during sex in the basic
man on top position. For one thing, neither
the man nor the woman can reach
her clitoris easily.
CAT Video
The coital
alignment technique changes all that because the two lovers rock their
bodies against each other in such a way that the woman's clitoris is
gently and repeatedly pressed against his body.
This means there
is no rampant thrusting: instead, after the man has entered his woman, he
moves his whole body upwards (in relation to hers) so that the base of his
penis makes contact with the general area of her clitoris.
Then they rock in
a coordinated way, so that every time he moves up, she moves down.
The idea is to
produce a series of small bumps between her clitoris and the general area
of the base of his penis, so that she gradually builds towards orgasm.
There is also a good account of this technique here:
www.the-penis.com/coital-alignment-technique.html
Sidebar: If you happen to have a problem ejaculating (a condition called
delayed ejaculation), the coital alignment technique may help there also,
since it is one of the sexual positions which makes building up sexual energy easier.
If the coital alignment technique doesn't
help, you can get more advice on
delayed ejaculation here.
Another variant of the man on top sex
position - with the woman's legs raised
The main
difference between sexual positions comes down to two things. The first is
theangle of penetration- the angle at which his penis enters her
vagina.
Any change in the orientation of the two partners' bodies can
change the angle at which his penis thrusts into her vagina, and of course
this will change the sensations that both partners feel.
The other major
difference, needless to say, is thetightness of her vagina
-
anything that tightens her vagina will tend to make sex feel better for
him (provided there is still enough lubrication to ensure that the
friction does not become unpleasant) and possibly for her.
Unfortunately many
women find that even a slight change of angle of entry can cause
unpleasant friction in the vagina; this is especially true if his penis
begins to rub too hard on her sensitive spots such as her G spot.
Having said that,
an interesting technique which makes man on top sex feel better for both
partners is the one in which she raises her legs progressively further up
his body.
The most common
variation of this sex position is when she places her feet on his calves, or wraps her legs
around his thighs - see the pictures below.
She clasps
him with her legs and pulls him into her
As a general rule,
the higher the woman raises her legs, the deeper his penis will go into her.
What's more, she
can pull him deeper into her, which is delicious for both partners,
especially if she likes deep penetration
or he has a small penis.
This sexual
technique can be very fulfilling for the man, since men often crave deep
penetration. Maybe this is an instinctual desire designed to ensure a man ejaculated as
near his partner's cervix as possible. That does raise the question of
what the
female orgasm is for, though...
But when we have
sex for fun, such ancient genetic impulses can be used to enhance our
pleasure - and if she's flexible enough to raise her legs as shown in the
picture below, then both partners' enjoyment may increase greatly.
If she's
even more flexible, this sexual position may offer great sex
As you might expect, when she gets
her legs right back - see the picture below - the man can get his cock as
deeply into her as he's ever likely to do. This can be very exciting, make
him come quickly, and allow him to thrust deeply and powerfully. So it's
not good for men with premature ejaculation, or even a tendency to
ejaculate quickly. In fact this might be best avoided if you are a quick
comer!
Hopefully he's not going to thrust
too deeply, though, for if he does he might hit her cervix with the end of
his penis, which is sometimes very painful for a woman.
It's essential that both partners
are able to tell the other what they want and don't want, so as to ensure
sex is a great experience for both of them.
An
interesting variation with the man kneeling for sex
You've got to be
flexible for some of these positions, believe me. If you're not, there's a
chance you're going to feel you're missing out on something wonderful,
that the heights of sexual pleasure are being denied to you.
But that's not true:
sex can be just as good in the basic man on top (or any other basic sexual
position) as it is in the variations.
What you miss if you can't get into
positions like the ones below is variety - and though variety is
supposed to be the spice of life, there are so many options in sex that
you need never feel deprived.
That said, the
positions below do have a certain extra spice: the man can see himself
penetrating his partner, which is what men like to see, and she can enjoy
a feeling of wanton lustfulness, of being a "bad" girl, of exposing
herself and allowing herself to be "taken".
OK, that might not
be your thing, and maybe you just like sex in this position because it
feels good, but for a lot of people sex in a new sexual position like this
is an exciting method simply because it's different to the "safer",
perhaps more conventional ways of having sex.
Sidebar: Want to know how to
please a woman? Do you wonder if you are doing
things right with your woman in bed? Are you looking for an effective way to
bring your partner to orgasm when you make love? Then find out here
how you can do this by clicking on this link -
work out
ways to give
orgasmic pleasure in bed! (And that's every time you make
love!)
Squeeze
your man, girls!
Men like three things: warmth,
wetness, and tightness.
Provided the woman is
naturally well-lubed, or you have a bottle of lube at hand, the first two
are taken care of. The third depends on where you both have your legs.
For extra sensation, try having
the woman's legs inside the man's. He won't be able to penetrate as
deeply, but it may be exquisitely pleasurable for him.
Don't expect sex to
last very long, though, in
this sexual position! And if you need ejaculation control techniques, check
them out here - slowing down
ejaculation!
Another
exciting technique with the good old man on top!
This sexual position can
be very exciting, because it allows deep penetration, the man can view his
partner's buttocks as he enters her, and it provides both partners with a
sense of taking/being taken, which might be something you find sexually
exciting.
It's certainly a
good method for those times you feel very horny, but you want a compromise
between rear entry and conventional man on top sex!
A woman talks about man on top
lovemaking
Why do I like the man-on-top sexual
position? Many, many reasons. I love to feel him on top of me, his weight
bearing down on me, that slight sense of being dominated in a loving way,
feeling him penetrating me, kissing him as he enters me, caressing his back,
arms, legs, buttocks - oh, the sexiness of that......incredible!
Of course what
rocks your boat may be different, but what makes this so sexy for me is the
connection - he's taking me while he looks into my eyes, and I can move my legs
so that I have him round the waist and I can pull him deeper into my cunt.
That way, he's mine, and he can't
get away. Mind you, I also love the thought of him entering me while I can't get
away - even if I wanted to.....which of course I don't!
And moving my legs can really get
him going. In this sexual position, I can bend my knees, rest my feet on his calves and relax while he
does the work - including sucking my breasts - or I can straighten my legs out
and flex my vaginal muscles -while I watch his face. To be
honest, the pleasure in this position is mutual. He knows
how to make a woman come during intercourse - thanks to me! And I take great
pleasure in helping him reach orgasm as well.... mutual pleasuring during
intercourse seems only fair to me!
The power of his orgasm is something
amazing to me - the thought that I'm somehow responsible for the sexual energy
he gives out as he shouts out in his uncontrollable orgasmic thrusts gives me a
real sense of my feminine sexual power.
What's more, if we get tired we can
use some simpler and more restful sexual techniques - side by side being favorite! We can move
over into the side by side sexual position from
the man on top very easily, and it doesn't take much effort.
You just have to make sure that your
legs and arms don't get squashed as you roll over, and his penis must must be
deeply inside as you both start to roll.
Once we're there, we spend a lot of
time just caressing, looking into each other's eyes and moving gently.
Sex lasts a long time in sexual positions like these, when it's done
this way. This has the advantage that when we do come, we come much more
powerfully - sometimes we can even manage to come at the same time, especially
if I'm very aroused before we start to make love.
The great advantage is that my
clitoris is easily accessible and we can time our arrival at orgasm more easily
than we can when we use other sex techniques where he (or I) can't reach my
clitoris as easily.
There's a lot of potential variation
in this lovemaking position. You can hug each other close or you can move back and relax,
staring into each other's eyes.
You can have the woman lift her leg
high in the air, and you can then enjoy the sight of his penis penetrating your
vagina, while being able to play with each other's labia, balls and anus - if
that turns you on. Read about anal sex
positions here.
The penetration is more visible in
this position than many others, and it can be very exciting for both partners to
watch the movement of his penis in and out of the vagina, wet with vaginal
lubrication.
It's a restful sexual technique for
lovemaking, and one that seems to allow for a great exchange of sexual /
spiritual energy.
You can also take it more vigorously
and enjoy powerful thrusting by both partners if that's what you feel like,
though it's really nice to enjoy this position in a relaxed way before you
go to sleep.
If you do it reversed, with his
chest to the woman's back, then you can actually fall asleep like this.
A man talks about man on top
sex
Man on top sex
positions really do give me
pleasure. Sure, rear entry is exciting, and
side by side is loving and
relaxing - and very sexy when you can see the penetration - but
man on top
is my real favorite.
I like to enjoy the feeling
that I'm in charge, that I'd dominating my partner, that I'm taking her,
and though that may sound a bit chauvinistic, I do believe this can be a
real turn on during sex, when we encounter the essence of the male and
female sexual nature.
To me it's about
giving/receiving, dominating/being taken, but definitely not about active
and passive. It's nonsense to talk of women being passive during sex: they
should be just as active as men, in particular during man on top sex, when
they can thrust just as powerfully as a man.
The best sexual positions involve man on top, for me.
There's so much intimacy and connection and yet at the same time there's so much raw sexual power
around.
I love feeling my partner under me, her breasts pressing on my chest, her
nipples available for pleasure, our kissing can be passionate or gentle and
loving, and there is of course always the thrill of penetration - especially
when I see her face as I slide my penis into her. That's
one of the most exciting things about this sex position, in my opinion: you
can see yourself enter her.
That moment has never stopped giving me the biggest thrill of my life -
even after years with the same partner I still find it exciting and arousing
to enter her, to push her flesh apart and find my way into her secret
places.
Entering her body is wonderful, especially when I feel her become even
wetter in response to my entry; thrusting is so instinctual and fulfilling
that it excites me beyond measure, and of course, the climax of sex in this
position is ejaculating deep inside her. (Read about
the best sex positions for deep penetration
here.)
That technique is better than anything else I've known in my sexual
experience. And in case that all seems a bit self-centered, I should add
that she loves it all as well!
One thing a lot of
men have told me is that the deep thrusts possible in the man on top sexual position certainly makes
most men come
quickly - a lot of self-discipline and self-restraint is required before a
man learns to hold off his ejaculation in this sexual position, I think. It's not
good for premature ejaculators, that's for sure!
I've had a few amusing things
happen in the man on top sex position. I tend to shout very loudly when I
come, and I once deafened a partner because I had my mouth next to her ear
on the pillow - something to watch out for if you like to give voice to
your pleasure at the moment of orgasm!
Another thing to watch out for
is muscle strain - especially if you're moving into middle age. Sexual
positions and techniques need to be adapted
according to your age and health!
It's helpful to rest your
weight on your arms when they are wrapped under her shoulders, so you're
not pressing up just on your hands.
This also allows her to feel
protected and loved, since you have her in a tight embrace, though of
course you shouldn't forget to ask her if she likes what you're doing, and
adjust your position if she's uncomfortable.
But as far as I'm concerned,
the closer our bodies come, the better,
when we make love in the man on top sexual position (also known as the
missionary position, of course).
That doesn't mean it's got to
be like that every time - of course, it's thrilling to adopt some of the
variants, especially the kneeling ones, so you can see yourself
penetrating your partner, and it's also very exciting if she positions her
legs in the air so you can thrust more deeply and enjoy a different
sensation as you move inside her.
The only problem with this
one, though, is that if you have an inflexible back and a short penis, you
might not be able to get into her unless you support her bottom on a
pillow.
Other advantages of man on top
sex: she can talk dirty into your ear, she can whisper encouragement to
you (rude or not, as she chooses!) as you enter her, and she can play with
your buttocks, nipples and back.
Having your nipples tweaked or
even bitten as you come might increase the intensity of your orgasm quite
a bit - at least, that's what I've found!
Readers comment
on the man on top sexual positions
When we asked women to
comment on man on top sex, this is a sample of what they said:
Like many women, I love
man on top sexual positions. I have a pillow wonder my bottom, he's up on
his arms, and as he thrusts into me he hits the spot that just makes me
scream with delight!
I also love watching
his male power, the strength of his muscles and arms as he pushes into me.
It's just so sexy.
When I watch my man come, it
is the greatest sight I've witnessed. I think many women appreciate man on
top sexual postions nowadays - we've moved through all that stuff about women being
dominated and we can see it as a sexual position where both partners get
real pleasure.
Watching my man come is a
pleasure for me, but besides that, the position simply feels good!
What's more, we're in close
contact - he can kiss me, kiss my breasts, caress me and look into my
eyes. It's good for both of us.
When my man's on top, the
kissing is wonderful! Imagine the eroticism of being kissed while your man
has his cock buried deep inside you! Does it get any more romantic than
that?
Our favorite
sex position is of
course man on top or missionary. I love watching him while he's in ecstasy. But he can
also shift his body up and use it to press on my clitoris, which can make
me come. There's nothing as good as coming together!
My favorite sex
position is man on top. He shifts his body up so I can keep my clit in
contact with his body and feel the pressure on it from his pubic mound.
I think it's the fact I
can control the pressure and control when I come that makes it so good.
But I also like to be on top watching him go into ecstasy as I ride him -
that is such a powerful feeling, to give him such pleasure.
I love man on top when we
adapt it so my legs are over his shoulders. I love feeling compressed, I
love feeling his weight on me as he penetrates me - it gives me a delicious
feeling of being taken, being unable to resist his desires.
No matter what we've done
before, we always finish off in the man on top position - that is, we
always finish so he can come in this position. He absolutely adores it,
and so do I, though I usually come when I'm on top or through oral sex.
But watching him as he
ejaculates is just the most amazing thing, and something I never get
tired of - no matter how many times we do it!
However, being oer fifty
we find that the
man on top position can become somewhat tiring for us.
So sometimes we start off
in this position but finish up in the side by side positions for lovemaking
as it is much less tiring.
Questions about man on top which have
been emailed to us over the years - and our answers!
A young man emailed: Our best sex
position is man on top. I love holding my partner down and being able to look
into her eyes as I push my penis into her - gently or more forcefully, depending
on how we feel, whether we're making love or enjoying more powerful sex.
We also do some role play, safe enough within the
bedroom, about her fantasy of being taken against her will. We'd only do that in the context of a
loving relationship, but she can look into my eyes and see the desire there as I
enter her, and I guess that lets her fantasize about how much men might want to
have sex with her.
Whatever, the eye contact is important to us - it makes sex
more connected, more exciting, more arousing. And for men, there's that amazing
moment of pushing into her, of parting her labia, of sliding my penis into her
juicy, hot, wet cunt (those are her words, not mine, by the way!).
We can also maneuver ourselves so that my penis
rubs on her G spot, and stimulates her in a way she just can't resist. If we go
on long enough, she will even have a vaginal orgasm - a G spot orgasm - which
lasts much longer and makes her more excited than a clitoral orgasm.
We find her clitoral orgasms tend to be short
lived, and centered around her pelvis, while her G spot orgasms involve her
whole body. Anyhow, that's a few of the reasons why we like man on top.....! I'd
love to know what other men and women think.
A man answers: Well, like most men I like
to see my wife's behind in the air - it really gets me thinking, I want to be in
there! And it's very sexy, but the thing about it is that there isn't
necessarily much tightness, although she can hold her legs together and that
improves it.
She's had two kids, so the best position for
tightness is a variation of man on top where she holds her legs together and I
push into her. I have a long penis so I can get deep enough to make this
pleasurable for both of us. I doubt it would work too well for a man whose penis
was shorter.
Second reader (male) observes: Man on top
used to be so unpopular but more and more people are realizing how good it is!
Watching my woman orgasm is an amazing sight.
We do this by having her thrust up and down as I
penetrate her deeply - this way, her clitoris rubs or bangs against my pubic
mound, and she comes quite quickly. And to feel her coming while I'm still
inside her is amazing. The only other position we can do this is when we're in
the side by side position.
A woman replies: Man on top is
great, but you should try the scissors! You (the woman) have one of his legs between
yours and you then grind yourself
against his thigh. By adjusting how much pressure you exert in this position,
you can stimulate your clitoris and come quite easily.
A second woman replies: I need my
clitoris to be stimulated to reach orgasm, and one position where we can do this
is with my man on top when I have my legs vertically up with him kneeling in
front of them and pushing into me. He loves the deep penetration, and he loves
watching me as I climax as he plays with my clit.
A second man responds: My wife was very
embarrassed about her body when we met and would never try sex in the rear entry
position.
But after we had tried man on top in the dark, we
moved to man on top with the lights on, then we enjoyed man on top in every room
in the house - maybe that's why it's our favorite!
We spent so much time trying man on top that it
came as a surprise when she suggested that we do something different - it was
even more of a surprise when she suggested the rear entry position! I'm happy to
say we have sex that way a lot now, but our favorite is still man on top - it
just feels best for us both!
Original emailer observes: The best
position for me is the man on top position with my partner lying on the bed face
down. I can enter her from behind and reached around to play with her clit, and
this is the only way she can come when I am inside her - I think it has
something to do with the pressure of the bed on her clitoris.
And she tells me that she likes to feel my weight
on top of her - so I usually don't support myself too much in this position, but
let my weight rest on her.
When she tells me she would like me to raise
myself, it takes the pleasure down a little for me, because I find I have to
focus on keeping myself up on my arms, and this is a bit of a strain.
A question from a reader of the site, and answers
from other readers:
My girl and I've just started having sex, and so
we're trying out all kinds of sex positions. the problem is, things aren't going
as well as wed hoped. We started in the man on top position, but I couldn't
get the rhythm right, and my penis kept popping out of her.
Should I be thrusting, which is how I thought it would be,
or should I be doing what I was doing, which was sliding my whole body up and
down hers, so as to move my cock in and out of her vagina? Is that why I kept
sliding out?
Answer 1: The correct movement in sex depends on what
sexual position you're using. For
missionary or man on top, you have to ensure that your hips are
free to move, so that you can thrust your penis in and out of your partner's
vagina.
To do this, you need to support your weight on your lower
legs and arms or hands, so that your pelvis is free to make the thrusting
movements which will move your penis in and out.
If you simply lie on top of her, you may find that you can't
move correctly, because you certainly don't want to be sliding your whole body
up and down hers!
Obviously if you are in the
rear entry sex position, then you
make your pelvic thrusts in a different way - you move your pelvis back and
forth from the hips.
Answer 2: This isn't directly an answer to your
question, but when I started having sex I found that I couldn't feel where my
penis was in her vagina because we were using condoms. Now that we're in a
stable relationship and I'm simply entering her without a condom, I find I can
judge the position of my penis in her vagina much better.
Also, the other thing that made a difference is
that I wasn't drawing back far enough on the outward stroke, because I thought
my penis was shorter than average (and it is a bit, at about five inches!)
Without pulling out far enough, you won't have much of a
stroke. The only other thing I'd add is that you need to be able to talk to your
girlfriend about this, and you need to be able to experiment sexually in a
relaxed way. That helps you communicate much better.
Answer
3: There are plenty of alternatives. You don't have to just stick to
one rigid formula when you have sex. For example, you can put your penis into
her then simply lie still and enjoy the feelings as you "twitch" your penis, or
she clasps you with her vaginal muscles. Then you can churn your penis around in
a circular motion by moving your hips around in a circle.
Or you can make small in and out movements that stimulate
the outer part of her vagina. You don't have to make deep thrusts - indeed, you
don't have to do this in any position - you can just play around and see what
you enjoy.
Making deep thrusts will make you come quickly, anyway, so
even if your girl wants to feel you thrusting you may find that sex doesn't last
very long! Also, don't forget that sex positions with the
woman on top can be
much better for both partners. The man is saved the effort of thrusting, which
can be tiring, and can make him come quickly.
The woman is able to move her clitoris against the base of
his penis so that she can find the exact movement or angle of entry which allows
her clitoris or G spot to be stimulated - that way she may be able to reach
orgasm during intercourse.
