Answer 1 from a woman: I am pretty small - 5'2'' - and my boyf is 9.5 inches. When we started having sex I could only accept half his shaft - but a lot of that was me feeling nervous about his size. Now it all goes in, and when it does, I can feel him pushing the back wall of my vagina while we make love!

Answer 2 from a man: I'm not a tall man, 5 feet 10 inches, but boy, am I hung! I like to go out with small girls, but imagine the problems! A lot of petite girls can't even get their hand around my cock! As for sex, I soon realized that lots of foreplay and lots of lube was essential. If she's tight, then yes, you have to go slow, but boy, when she's full you just OWN her.

My favorite was a blonde woman, a long time ago, who was desperate to have sex when she saw me, but when I got in her, started moaning, "Oh no..... it's too big, I can't handle it, this is too much," and so on. Since I'm considerate, I whispered, "Look, we can stop if you want." She immediately replied, "Don't you fucking dare!" Then, when it was all over, she had that strange look in her eye as she said, "Man, big cocks are FUN!"

Answer 3 from a man: I think petite girls always have small pussies. But having said that, I think all girls can take a large diameter cock because all pussies can be very accepting of large girth. It's the length of the vagina that is related to a woman's height. My wife is 5'10" and very nearly the tallest woman I ever slept with. She is also the woman who can take more of my 10 inch shaft than anyone else I ever met. Sad to say, I have never felt my hips pounding against a woman's, yet I really wish I could do so.....but who am I kidding? As you know if you're hung like me, there's no substitute for having a massive cock!

Answer 4 from a man: If you hit her cervix it's going to hurt, since most vaginas are only about six inches. That's why it's unrealistic to believe that sex is going to be pain free for her, especially if she's ovulating. If you say the woman couldn't take it, it begins to sound like it's the woman's fault, whereas in fact this is simply the result of an anatomical mismatch which you can't do anything about.

If she hasn't got the capacity to take your length, then she can't take it, and that's pretty much it. On the other hand, girth is a different matter. I think most woman can accommodate a large penis if they are sufficiently relaxed, and the only problem you might face here is that their perineum can't stretch enough to take the penis with a huge girth during sex.

The solution, as you may already have guessed, is to use plenty of lubrication and make sure she is aroused before you try and penetrate her. Her natural lubrication will only be sufficient if she produces a copious supply, and not all women do - especially after the menopause, when breastfeeding, and sometimes on the pill.

For the guys who have a penis as thick as a beer can, the answer also lies in letting her take control - especially the first few times you have sex. She's going to be frightened, no doubt about it, if she does not have the experience of having sex with such a large penis, so she needs the reassurance of knowing that she can control the pace and depth of penetration.

She can lower herself down onto you at a speed that suits her and this will enable her to relax and be sure she can take all of you before she stretches painfully. In other words, it will stop her stretching painfully.

Second, if you lie on top of your partner and she holds her legs together, you can thrust your penis between her thighs and only have the top part of it inside her.

This feels like you have buried yourself deep in her, and provides friction all along the penile shaft, so that you have a very satisfying experience, and she is again in no danger of having you thrust right up inside her.

The other position where you can achieve something similar is the side by side position where the woman lies on her side and you enter her either from behind or facing her, but once again you need the base of your penis to be between her thighs so that you get the effect of deep penetration.

These are real issues for men with massive length or girth. Some women I have managed to get deep into, and that was very satisfying sex, others however, I have just got nowhere with.

For example, there was a small Japanese girl with whom I had sex - I could not even get the head of my penis into her vagina. If we loosened her up with cunnilingus and fingering for about an hour, I could shaft her from behind in the rear entry position, but if we then flipped over and tried for man on top again, I could still only get half of the length of my cock inside her vagina.

Of course all of this was very unsatisfying, and I came to realize that sex can be incredibly frustrating at times for men like us - even when the woman is having fun. I have always wanted to feel that I can pull the woman around her waist back down onto my cock, bury it deep in hr and grind her clit on my pubic area - fat chance.

The really odd things is that once I met a small white girl who was around five feet two who could take all of my length - so maybe Asian girls really do have smaller vaginas.

More on the dilemma of the large penis

Adapted from reddit - Where a discussion ensues when a woman asks the question shown in the first post below. You can more or less work out the succession of posts that follows: there is some decent advice among them.

Original Question: I've tried researching this a bit on the internet but mostly just got male enhancement ads. I almost don't want to have sex with my man because I'm afraid he's going to hurt me, and I wonder if there is really some physical harm he can do to me? Is that even possible?

I also tried looking up positions that are better for large penises but they definitely didn't look like they would be comfortable, so I'd rather hear about this from someone who has actually tried it. Also, how can I give him better oral?

(Lots of questions of whether its girth or length, it's actually both. Also, for those of you who think "Oh well a baby can come out of there then a penis can surely go in!" sorry, but I think you're kind of an idiot.)

Here is my invention, it is called The Speedbump. Take a bath towel and wrap it like a doughnut around the base of his penis. Then while you are on top, you can relax without it damaging your insides.

Adam Carolla (formerly of love line) had the above invention back 7ish years ago. From the carollaboards - Love Grommet: This was a device that Adam came up back in the Loveline years for the "larger" gentlemen. Basically a complaint was that some women felt their man was "too big", so Adam suggested the Love Grommet.

This'd be close, in size and shape, to an actual donut and made out of foam. It would slide on the dude similar to a batting donut that baseball players use in the on-deck circle. It would be placed at a "depth" that was comfortable for the woman.

This sounds like a good suggestion, unless he just has a fat FAT dick.

Any time I have used it, the guy takes it as a big compliment. You don't need to wrap it tightly around the base, so it should be perfectly comfortable.

As a male with this... affliction... I have found that if my girl lays on her stomach, and I straddle her, her ass usually provides enough of a spacer that I don't bottom out. However, if you happen to have a flat ass, this may cause him to hit your bladder, which in turn may cause you to wet the bed (had this happen).

Another position is if you curl lay on your side with your knees kind of up near your chest and he kneels behind you, he should be able to control depth pretty well.

As for oral, use your hands and be enthusiastic, the best blowjob I've had was from a girl who's mouth was too narrow to deep throat me without some sort of dental work, but she was amazing anyway.

Good to know, and I'm lucky and don't have a flat ass cause the bed wetting thing sounds...less than pleasant.

I wasn't thrilled, nor was she, especially since it was her bed, I went home and slept in my dry bed. But, I did so without having had an ejaculation.

Apparently some girls get so wet that they just wet the bed.

This one girl I was with told me she has NEVER cum from sex without helping herself out (and it was tough for her like that too). She left a large wet spot on my bed after we had sex once and I was like "huh? did you cum?" she was like "no" and I was like "...wait you got so wet that you left a large wet spot on my sheets?" she was like "uh... yeah. blush."

I've had that happen before, usually even girls that normally have to have lube don't need it with me for some strange reason. However, I do not believe it to be urine, since a sexually experienced woman in her mid-30's is likely to be able to tell the difference between squirting and pissing.

Actually another I've been with left a large wet spot too (larger than the girl I was talking about) and I smelled it and it had a very light urine scent. She insisted it wasn't her though, and said it was me, which was a really strange thing to claim considering I had a condom on.

At first I just had assumed she had squirted but after the other girl told me sometimes she just gets SO wet she "leaks" that much... I'm not sure anymore!

If she was hot enough she may have been close enough and you can set her off. Orgasms can happen whenever given that for women the biggest sexual organ is our brains. Squirting does happen before orgasm.

Without a doubt, however, as I said above, this was not someone new to their body, if she says she pissed the bed, she pissed the bed.

My bf is another member of the huge penis club and I can give you some tips that we use.

1 Take things slow, have him use fingers, dildos (we use various sizes up to his size), make sure that you are aroused ( aka wet). He shouldn't start just banging away at any of your holes until you are used to his dick.

2 For oral you can wrap your hand around the base of his penis to take some of the length off it. move your wet hand around a bit in conjunction to your mouth. Don't let him thrust into your mouth, have your mouth move on his penis.

3 If you want to go for anal then i highly suggest that you use the dildo technique in #1. If you don't want to buy a separate set of dildos just for anal then put on condoms before dildo goes into your butt.

4 Try various positions with your legs closed. Your thighs can eat up some of his length. I should say that if it hurts then you need to have you and your bf take it slower. Sex should not be painful, and it might lead to long-term damage (at least in the anal region).

There are multiple sex educational books being sold. I own the Women's Guide to Anal Sex and Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex.

The second one is geared for gay men giving head but many women can use the same advice (a mouth is a mouth and a penis is a penis after all).

Well, are we talking about really long, or really thick? If he's extremely long, then he might hit your cervix. This can be painful, but it's also preventable if he is just careful with his strokes. Thick is a bit more of an issue, but with a little careful preparation you should be fine.

Keep in mind, you vaginal canal is designed to have a tiny skull pushed through it. You can handle his penis, I promise. The worst you're looking at is a little bit of tearing and/or soreness. You're extremely unlikely to do any permanent damage.

But if you use lube, and go slowly, even this shouldn't be a problem. Honestly, you're likely making a bigger deal out of this issue than need be, and psyching yourself out. You can try taking him, and if it is a horrible experience, you can stop. If there's absolutely no pain, then you don't have to worry that you're doing some secret damage that you don't know about.

That's a sensitive region, and if something is going wrong, your body will tell you. For positions - Try with him laying down and you on top, so you can control how far he goes into you. For oral - ...can't help. Try to practice deep throating? I really don't know what to tell you there.

I've tried the me on top thing but I think my muscles are too tense when I'm like that, it's really only comfortable in missionary but how boring is that? How do you practice deep throating?

How do you practice deep throating? By putting phallic objects down your throat I would assume. No better practice tool than a phallus. Besides, I'm sure he'd have no objection to you "practicing" on him.

Well, he might - if he's not into gagging/vomit on his penis. I've had a someone vomit on my penis. It was unpleasant. Starting to laugh may not have helped the situation - but I suspect the laughter was really more of a defense mechanism.

P.S. I'm a fairly average size, not sure how a painfully large penis would affect it. Tracheal/esophageal bruising can be unfortunate. If he gets fair enough, down - he might even be able to damage the vocal cords.

How does doggie style feel? My SO is on the larger side (any bigger and it would be a problem) and doggie style is always comfortable. With other positions (including missionary), he sometimes hits my cervix. :-/

Cervix punch! Hurts so bad :(

My cervix gets abused no matter the position. Worst with doggie style, actually. It takes a higher-than-normal amount of foreplay to relax me enough so that it doesn't hurt.

For oral practice: take a banana, try and swallow the whole thing.

I'm really against the idea of shoving objects into your mouth to practice. For me it just makes things worse. You gag and it's not fun. What is fun is slowly taking a man's cock into your mouth as far as you can go without gagging and then hold it there for a few seconds. Then come up and try it again but going further. I find the more you want to pleasure him and the more you see his excitement for you practicing, the better you'll get and the more you can take in. Don't rush this. You can always alternate this with just sucking going up and down on the head of the penis which gives more motion in between the slow and sensual.

It's possible to give a great blow job without even putting the tip in your mouth. Just right pattern of movement of the tongue and lips up and down the right areas of the shaft. I taught an ex how to do it years ago, however she had an issue with motion sickness, and that would sometimes trigger it.

Biologically speaking doggy style allows the vagina and womb to fully extend.

Is it an issue of girth?

Girth is definitely part of the problem yes, but this is also helpful thank you!

Well unfortunately I can't think of anything else beyond using lube. Look into Astroglide.

I had this problem with my ex and to be honest it was pretty sucky. How long have you been together?

Because we chose to battle through how sexually incompatible we were at first and it took a good few months before we could have enjoyable sex.

Also in 2 years of being sexually active with her, I never climaxed while inside her. She would climax once herself and then become too sore to continue. With the girl I'm currently seeing, it's a completely different story.

We could just tell straight away we were perfectly sexually compatible, as we're both marathon people and, I guess she just has a slightly larger opening? As much as this might be painful to hear, being sexually compatible in a relationship is often one of the most important things.

I think you need to decide how important sex is in your relationship, and whether it is worth battling through the time it takes before you can take him without it hurting a bit at first.

This is actually the best reply I've received, I am having the exact same situation as your first partner you had. I can orgasm really easily because of his size, but we've been together almost 2 years and only recently has he been able to penetrate me completely. And then I get sore really fast and have to stop, he hardly ever orgasms and it makes me feel awful! I think you're right that we need to asses how important this is to our relationship. It's terrible, but if we can't resolve it I can see it as being something we could break up over.

Well I'm glad my comment helped, and I'm sorry that it's bad news. On the plus side, the fact that he's still with you even with the troubles in the bedroom show that he's a reasonable bloke.

My ex and I struggled because not only was she failing at making me climax but she also lost nearly all of her libido when she was done. Hopefully if you can bring yourself to use other methods to bring him to climax after you have finished, then he will still go to bed a satisfied man.

There is actually a "Large Penis Support Group" to help with exactly this... problem. Please don't ask me why I know this...

Find a more suitable guy? Would it be horrible if I was thinking this too? I kind of crave having just normal sex with a normal penis...

I think you should get over the fear (you need to relax to accommodate him) and try him on for size. You may find you are one of the ladies with a deeper tunnel that's suitable for his bigger train. Some girls are bigger than others, after all...

If you think leaving someone because of something physical that they have no control over is horrible, then yes.

Happens all the time. Face it, physical attraction and compatibility in the sack is a big part of a male-female intimate relationship, and if she's not into it, she should move on. I've seen people "push it" when shit wasn't working in bed. It's rarely pretty.

I agree. I'm facing it. The only problem I have is when people rationalize it in such a way that it eliminates any responsibility they have for the other person's feelings like so: "I broke up with my girlfriend because one tit was bigger than the other. Face it. Physical attraction is a big part of a male-female intimate relationship. I'm not into her tits, so I should move on. I'm doing her a favor by not pushing the relationship. I'm sure she'll understand when I explain to her that her tits turn me off. If she doesn't understand then that's her own fault."

What difference does it make why you are breaking up with someone? Whether it's their personality, how they look, penis size, whatever... it's still going to hurt their feelings. You don't have to tell someone the real reason you are breaking up with them either, especially if the reason is a physical one. Your argument makes literally zero sense. I sense bitterness.

The point I was making is this: Don't try and convince yourself you're doing them a favor. Yes, it's a bit horrible to judge and reject someone about something like their dick size which you can't help. BUT, that doesn't mean you shouldn't end it if it's going to make you unhappy. Just face the fact it's not a nice thing.

I dunno. I wouldn't want to be with someone that was physically turned off by my body. But then, I think I'd figure that out right fast and move on.

If you want to be in a sexual relationship, then you want to be in one with someone that is 100% thrilled to be having sex with you, including your body. Don't try and convince yourself you're doing them a favor.

Who was doing this? Still seems bitter. Just face the fact that not everything is storybook good-or-evil, though I'm sure that's comforting when you feel slighted. It's also very difficult to end things in a mature way if you're trying to shift the blame onto your partner/nature/god/the-giant-cock-fairy-in-the-sky.

Physical compatibility? You mean like looks?

Kinda, but usually looks are known before you invest emotionally into a relationship... not like a gigantic penis.

This isn't all bad. It's a legitimate desire. You can both discuss it. Perhaps he would wear a strap-on sometimes. Perhaps you could discuss opening your boundaries to sex with others, threesomes, or swinging.

Your vagina is made to punch a baby out of it. You're not gonna break it.

It is made to do that after 40 weeks worth of hormonal preparation, and doesn't occur without significant tearing, stretching, and spilled blood.

They don't always tear or bleed. I know this from personal experience.

It's long penises that many women can never get used to. Most women find it uncomfortable to have their uterus probed. I had a girlfriend with a slightly prolapsed uterus, and she could only do it in one position without it being too uncomfortable. but even in that position, she had a bit of a dull pain after a prolonged session of taking it to the hilt.

Use time and lubricants for intercourse. It makes everything go down better!

Here are my suggestions.

1.The more in the mood you are, the better your body will be suited and ready to take him in. Maximize foreplay and things should be able to go a little easier.
2.Start out slow, and let your body get used to it a little slower than normal. This will give your body a chance to stretch without hurting you.
3.If you smoke weed... some some before sex. This has a tendency in some people to heighten their arousal and thus the possibility of you two working it out successfully. Results may vary.
4.Positions can help... Off the top of my head, the spooning position (in my experience) does not allow him to get very deep and allows you some control as well.
5 As far as giving him oral... do what you can with your mouth and to accommodate the rest of him use your hands. Get the hands/fingers lubed up with your saliva and move them in concert with your mouth. They can make up the extra distance. Another thing to consider is stimulating him in other places as well, while giving him head such as his perineum, anus, or prostate. Hope that helps!

Thanks this is definitely helpful! now I just have to convince him to slow things down ;) And I know how hard it is to get him to slow down especially when things are heated ;)

To all those saying the equivalent of, "you can push a baby out of your vag, what's the problem?", bear in mind that during pregnancy a woman's pelvic bones and muscles, ligaments, etc literally are loosened in prep for the birth. An extremely large penis can indeed be a problem. But the good news for the original poster is that with lube, patience and persistence, eventually her vagina will stretch a bit to accommodate her partner. (Over the course of several weeks/months.)

I see what you are saying, but I don't think any penis is comparable to a baby.

I'm a bisexual guy; there was an absolutely massive east German guy I had sex with (he had the biggest erect penis I've ever seen.)

For oral, it helped me to lie on the bed with my head hanging down off the side and he entered my mouth that way.

My throat was able to open up more naturally than I could normally; it takes some getting used to though.

My concern in that position (and any others with my mouth full) is communicating that he needs to pull out NOW! It helped to have a hand signal (a double slap or something) since we couldn't count on a safety word to work in oral, and you don't want to use biting unless it's life or death.

For vaginal sex, striking the pubic bone is going to be very painful, but I don't think stretching is an issue. Babies can get out, and I don't know of any man who even approaches the dimensions of a baby.

Long term affects of anal (e.g. years with a huge guy) can stretch the sphincter, but most guys I've been with (excluding the east German) are smaller in girth than my bowel movements (gross, but a good mental measure of what's okay).

Has he had sex with other partners before? Surely he must know his size is an issue. Perhaps ask if he has favorite positions when another partner has had difficulty.

Anal sex? Seriously, that is your suggestion? I'm sorry, but some of the people in this thread are really out of touch with how a normal persons body is. Believe it or not... most girl's asses are even tighter than their vaginas. Of the girls I know who do like anal, they will not do it with guys with large dicks, and in fact one of the biggest complaints I've heard from guys with big dicks is that girls refuse to even attempt anal. I don't know what bizarre world you live in where fitting a giant dick into your ass is easier than in the vagina. In a word: Fail.

The pain is there for a reason... popping something to reduce the sensitivity of the nerves is NOT recommended. This will allow the dude to get far more physical than he would otherwise, increasing the chances of female damage.
The one you like in particular is the one that lets me get deepest into a girl, in my experience. I'm not sure that's what she's looking for. I wouldn't suggest anal.

A vagina is meant to stretch and accommodate things such as his dick or a baby during delivery. You anus is not meant to accommodate these things.

If she is worried about injury I would steer her away from anal. I also agree with another reply to your post that the position suggested allows the man deep penetration, maybe not another good idea.

I don't know if this post is for real or not, but I'll answer anyway because there's bound to be somebody else in the same uncomfortable situation. Having sex in the spoons position is good, i.e. he's behind you and thrusting into you sideways while you're both laying on your sides.

I don't even know what they call it but cowgirl when you've got your weight on your feet instead of your knees is also good, i.e. squatting over him. As for deep throating, you can practice by using the toothbrush technique which will desensitize your gag reflex.

Humming, changing the position you're in (and resulting angle of his penis going into your throat) or sticking your tongue out also help. If you still can't get there, remember that using your tongue and hands is just as important during oral as putting him in your mouth. Perfect your hand job skills while sucking on as much of him as you can take and he won't even notice that he's not in your throat all the way.

As previously asked, is it length or girth? Length is pretty easy to deal with - there are a lot of positions out there that limit the depth he can go to. As for girth, I'd suggest you try first - you'd be surprised what will actually fit there - but make sure you're extremely aroused at the time (helps the muscles relax) and use plenty of lube.

If it's uncomfortable, you can get dilators (see a gyno or similar) to help teach your muscles to relax - keep in mind, this will take some time. Also, if you're about to have sex and thinking "Oh god, what if it does fit, what if it hurts?" then you'll be too tense, and it probably will. So talk to him about it, make sure he knows that the first time, you're just going to try and see if you can.

A few years ago, my fresh new gf saw me naked for the first time, saw my average sized mini-me and, and with a sigh of relief said "ah, finally!"... interesting moment lol

I was at a passion party the other day, and the issue of a guy being too long came up. My hostess offered the suggestion of this, which you can use as kind of a buffer. It's super flexible and whatnot. I'm sure anything kind of like that would help the situation some. And do be careful about sex if he's going kind of hard. You don't want to damage your cervix, which is possible and unpleasant. For oral: don't put the whole thing in your mouth. Use your hands and slobber a lot.

Try this variation of doggy: start on all fours, once he's inside you lie down flat on your stomach. Sounds problematic, is actually quite fantastic. Cozy :)

My bf is also "well endowed" and at first I was worried whether it would prevent us from even having sex at all. But we did, although I had never fit anything that big in my vagina before. The first year, the sex was always a little uncomfortable, there was a lot of going slow at first to get it in, and I required down time in between sex to recover. But by the second year, it got easier and now we have an awesome sex life.

Length is a lot easier to deal with than girth. You can just add silicone rings to the end to make it "shorter." Or you can use a shallow penetration position. Like this one (that I really enjoy.)

Or spooning Both of these positions use your ass to cushion the thrusting making for a shallower penetration. Googleing "shallow penetration position" might yield more helpful results (although most of them are about sex during pregnancy). Girth, that one is tougher.

Try orgasming before intercourse. This will increase endorphins (making you more resistant to discomfort) and relax you as much as possible making more room for his excessive girth.

Oral, just focus on the head. Use your well lubed hand for the shaft and balls.

I've seen a lot of comments about taking care of the length but not the girth.

For girth, I've found that my significant other makes me open up a bit more by using his mouth or fingers on me first before slowly easing it in. It definitely helps if he's willing to make you come first before entering you, or even if you're willing to just finger yourself while you give him oral. With time, it gets a lot better--your body does get used to the girth even if it takes a few times of being sore afterward.

As a man who is also large, all I can say is this: this man had better learn to love to eat chicks out. If he gives you oral first, it will loosen things up quite a bit and make you very wet.

And I'm talking like 30-45 minutes at the minimum of eating out. Also, he's bound to lose erection during this period meaning he can enter at a semisoft state and get hard inside.

Very simple for length. Clue him in to the fact that he doesn't have to jam the whole thing up there. As for you, you will want to take the top position or one which you can control how much he gets in.

I had a girlfriend for whom I was too large. In order for me to ejaculate inside of her before she'd get sore, she'd give me oral for quite awhile, then we'd switch to doggy style where I would quickly finish.

So it's possible! Ok thank you. And I've only had sex with one other guy before him and he was much smaller, but of course even that was painful at first (I think it's painful for all girls the first time?).