Sex movements and rhythms

In most sex positions, the man supplies the basic in-and-out thrusting movement by movements of his hips. Instinct tells him to insert the penis to its full depth, then make fairly short, sharp movements a few seconds apart. Such movements will lead to quick release of sexual tension and often to a fairly satisfying orgasm - for him!

However, very few men can control the biological pressure to come for more than a minute or so with this approach. He then experiences much less pleasure from his orgasm - and his partner doesn't have the pleasure of prolonged intercourse.

One simple change in sexual technique makes a tremendous difference here: the man's "base" position in the early stages of intercourse should be at the withdrawal end of his penile thrust instead of at full penetration. Sexual control is much easier in this position, but there are other benefits too: if the woman's excitement wanes during one of her partner's pauses, she can resume rubbing the head of his penis between her outer labia without causing friction which might precipitate his orgasm.

And even if she is not fully lubricated, his first movements still remain quite comfortable for her since he does not reach full penetration for some time.

What's more, the man can easily change direction of his thrusts. By short, sharp strokes with his penis angled toward the very front of her vagina he can stimulate her G spot, for instance. This sensitive "passion trigger" remains almost untouched in any movement the man adopts with his penis all the way inside his partner.

And, last but not least, the couple's bodies remain sufficiently apart in the early stages of intercourse to allow continued fondling and caress of the clitoris and other sensitive spots - which helps her remain aroused.

A second change in technique from the instinctive desire to thrust, a change which many men find helpful, is to substitute long, slow strokes instead of short, sharp ones. This allows her to match his rhythm and pace with movements of her own. Most couples find the long, slow stroke much more satisfying; and slow movement stimulates her beautifully, even when he has a short penis, without any discomfort! (One woman described it like this: "As if all of a sudden I was in bed with a sexual giant, but without any uncomfortable stretching!")

Perhaps at the start of sexual activity, when you need a fairly long interval between strokes to avoid a rapid male climax, a few rocking motions during the intervals will help to sustain the woman's arousal.

Other measures like deliberate genital "twitching" (contracting your PC muscles while you have your erection inside her) work well in conjunction with long strokes, too. Also, most men will be more effective as lovers if they draw the shaft of the penis along the clitoris rather than just their glans. The same is true of movements over the vulva.

See more advice on thrusting on this page. And yet more on this page.

The woman's sexual rhythm

A woman gains purchase for her movements by keeping her heels on the bed or hooked behind her partner's knees, by locking her feet behind his back, or by getting into a woman on top, astride her man, sex position. She first rocks her pelvis forward and then rocks it backward in a swaybacked genital "retreat".

In the early stages of sex, this movement should not be combined with the man's in-and-out stroke on a one-for-one basis as long as his strokes remain slow and deliberate. Instead, her pelvic movements can match his on a three or four-to-one basis so that her vagina describes a zigzag course along the shaft of his penis during each of his thrusts.

Later, when orgasm grows quite close, some couples shift to a simple, matched one-for-one rhythm, while others find the woman's short sharp motion combined with the man's long slide more satisfying all the way to orgasm. By combining the front-to-back rocking of her hips with similar movement up and down on the bed, you can achieve a circular motion which produces quite exquisite sexual sensations.

The term "screwing" gives a very false picture of this action. Female movement does not twirl the vagina in a horizontal axis while the penis moves in and out in a vertical one. The woman's motions remain entirely in the front-to-back plane with virtually no sidewise element. She may move her vagina in a circle, but all elements of that motion are lengthwise or up and down to her body axis.

A woman can accomplish this movement quite easily in standard woman-on-her-back sex position by pushing herself up toward the head of the bed with her legs during each forward movement with her trunk muscles, and letting her body recoil toward the foot of the bed as her hips drop. Three or four quick rolls to each slow male stroke makes a good starting rhythm. A woman's complete circle to match each of her man's strokes and withdrawals also makes for interesting sensations.

Movement of the genitals themselves

You can learn to move and control certain muscles in your genital area which make possible independent movement of the genitals. Twitching these muscles during ordinary sexual motions or during rest periods adds charming variety and intensity to the stimulations which you give to your partner.

Why not work toward muscular control by yourself until you have developed a degree of expertise, then surprise your partner with it? Genital twitching in the man comes from contraction of muscles at the base of the penile shaft about two inches in front of the rectum. You contract these muscles when you try to lift your testicles and scrotum straight up into your body. If the penis is erect, it will "twitch" when you carry out this motion.

You can check whether the right muscles are contracting by pressing one finger up into your body just at the rear attachment of the scrotum. Short, sharp twitches of this muscle body give the greatest effect. Once you have learned the action, the sensation you get from contracting the proper muscles is quite distinctive - and very pleasant!

If you contract the muscle on a regular basis, while you're driving your car or sitting in an office or any place you happen to think of it, you will build muscular strength and be able to exercise greater ejaculatory control. (You have to do this well before the point of ejaculatory inevitability, though. You contract your PC muscles, stop thrusting, and relax all the muscles of your body except the PC muscles, then imagine "blowing the desire to ejaculate out of your mouth" in short, sharp puffs of breath. This is a technique which can really help men to control premature ejaculation.

When you use this action during intercourse, try it first during pauses and rest intervals. A few twitches will help your woman to maintain her arousal, without speeding your own orgasm at all. Next try twitching once or twice at the depth of penetration on ordinary sex strokes. When you have mastered muscular control thoroughly, try twitching your penis two or three times during an ordinary slow stroke or twitch it several times in succession during a cycle of thrusting.

A woman can learn several different types of genital movement, and can combine them in many different ways. The easiest way to learn them is to start by contracting the muscles which she would use to stop her urine in mid-flow (or, so it is said, the muscles she would use if she were trying to pull her vagina straight up into her body). This motion, like the man's genital twitch, enlivens both sexual pauses and active thrusting, if it's applied in short, sharp spasms.

A similar but slightly different effect comes when you attempt to pull the rectum up into your body. You can practice both these movements any time and any place, since they involve no external signs. Mastery of the muscles around the vagina itself calls for more concentrated effort. You can generally contract these muscles by trying to squeeze with the vagina itself (not in a straining motion like that used to evacuate the bowels), perhaps by pretending that you are trying to pick up marbles with it.

The resulting contraction helps to make you a more pleasing sexual partner even if you never perform it during intercourse, especially if childbirth has stretched the tissues out of shape. It helps build up tone in the muscles for a snugger fit round your man's penis and greater natural muscular control. Several contractions in a row, on three or four occasions each day, usually make a real difference to your sexual proficiency within a few weeks. The habit of contracting the vaginal muscles a few times before you get up in the morning helps to maintain your capacities thereafter.

After mastering simple contraction of the vagina, a few women go on to learn wave-like contraction beginning at the outer opening and proceeding up inside the organ.

Like the muscle control by which you govern bladder action, this form of bodily skill calls for mastery of muscles whose ordinary action is involuntary. Some women can never learn this action, and most must work at it for several weeks or months. If you want to learn this skill, try first to achieve vaginal contraction just at the opening, then let the contraction flow on up the passage. If you succeed in practice, use this action just before and during your man's orgasm to earn his undying appreciation!

Caresses during intercourse

In most sexual positions, you can add excitement to sex even as you thrust into your partner by caressing each other. The woman can almost always reach sexually sensitive areas of her man's body with her hands during intercourse in any sexual position. The man may find himself somewhat restricted in many sex postures by the necessity for supporting his body weight, but can often work at least one hand free in virtually every posture.

Light, brushing caresses of the ear lobes, hair and shoulders help to express your affection during the early part of intercourse. Stroking caresses of the woman's buttocks with either up-and-down, side-to-side or rotary thrusts seem especially apt during the next phase.

Both sexes respond to stroking of the thighs and lower abdomen in those sexual positions which permit free access to these parts. As the final surge of near-orgasm approaches, firmer kneading or muscle-clutching caresses bring excitement to a lofty peak.

The shift from stroking of the buttock or thigh to a deeper, somewhat rougher muscle-clutching caress actually does more to bring many couples to climax than any change in the speed of thrusting, because it very effectively increases sexual excitement.

How to apply this guidance in managing your own sexual crescendo

Your first sexual contact during intercourse should be relatively shallow penetration. Immediately after entry, you should pause until the man feels that he has complete mastery of his urge to thrust and come quickly. He should then try a few tentative, short strokes, always returning to a position of minimal penetration instead of leaving his penis deep in his partner's vagina.

During this period, both he and she should continue kissing and stroking caresses. Teasing is not only an exciting part of sexual sport at this stage, but also provides the best means with which the woman can encourage a bit more play whenever her arousal drops. If she makes her partner chase her a bit, at the same time exchanging a few mischievous caresses with him, both partners usually become more excited in this way without the problems of control which her man would encounter if he tried to rebuild her excitement through thrusting or rubbing of their genitals.

In prolonging sex play with teasing, however, a woman shouldn't communicate any hint of real rejection or denial. A woman can make her man chase him as much as she wants, but he needs to know all the time that she wants to be caught!